blah. last night shannon stayed the night. we had a good time. went to bed around 3:30 or 4:00 in the morning, woke up at 8:30, fell back asleep woke up at 11:00 my therapist was here. we talked while shannon went back to bed, she left, we ate  breakfast, chilled, then later on we went back to shannons house....then i was guna go to the mall with her, krista, alli, and george but my mom wouldnt let me. i was so pissed off. its pouring out. thundering and lightning. i love it. but im pissed cause i wanted to go to the beach. i hope it clears up so i can go to the beach and tan tomorrow. thatd be nice. hopefully shannon will join me..then we can go to the boardwalk tomorrow night, but i think i have to babysit tomorrow night, which is a good thing cause i really need money !

anyways... i got my pictures developed and no0ne of the pics of me turned out but if any of you arizonans wanna see my baibi girl shannon, lemme know. or some really hot guys, lol.

speaking of hot guys, i havent talked to my baby boy today. i think im guna go call him. later people.....xo

i love chris from now until forever <33

- hales bales

heylo. well, its around 7 and im still wearing my bathing suit and my pajama pants. i havent done hardly anything all day. this is how my day went :

woke up around 10:30 because of my gramma. ate breakfast...smoked a few cigs, fell back asleep around noon. woke up at three. called chris, no one answered. called kimmi, talked to her for an hour. as soon as i got off the fone with her, robyn called. talked to her til my mom got home. then called mike, hes moving. bummer. tried calling chris again, no answer still. then i ate dinner. smoked a few more cigs, sat on the porch with my family and now im on the computer. what joy....

"ive never felt like this before, im naked around you, does it show? you see right through me and i cant hide, im naked around you, and it feels so right"

ill write later tonight if i decide to come on....later....

-hales bales

<3

i love chris from now until forever

sorry i havent written in so damn long, it seems like its been forever. a lot has been going on. im no longer friends with two of the people i care about the most. i dont care about them anymore, tho. one of them which i found out has been fucking me over this whole fucking time i liked this person, and the other one is just a plain bitch. i hate low life junkie whores.

im moving back to arizona in a few weeks. im completely excited about that. i cant fucking wait. i go out with chris again, that im verrry happy about. to be with the person youre in love with is one of the most amazing feelings in the world. i just cant wait to SEE him, i havent seen him in a year and seven months. its going to be amazing just to hug him and kiss him and hear him say i love you. though i HAVE been talking to him on the fone for the past two weeks or so and i hear him tell me he loves me all the time. that is a great feeling but its different when youre WITH the person and they say it IN person, rather than on the fone. his voice just completely takes me away, and being in his prescence makes me feel like theres no better place to be in the world. im so in love, it hurts. not a bad hurt. but the feeling that im not with him right now hurts, but im very happy just knowing im goin to be with him soon. we started dating again july 8th.  our first "going out" date, was dec. 13, 2003. and now it is like, july of 2004, and to be in love for this long with the same guy, at this age is breath taking. i hope this feeling never goes away and i hope i spend forever with him. hes amazing. fuck all the times ive ever said ive been in love, except for this time, cause this time its true. i can feel it in my body, my mind, my soul and my heart that me and chris were meant to be. i LOVE this boy.

other than that, i am rather happy. my parents are getting back together, which in all actuality is a good thing, my step father makes my mother happy, so that is another good thing. itll be good to have a family again and now that me and the step father are getting along it will be even better. im just afriad things are going to be too strict or something. i cannot deal with too many rules. im a little rebel, and i have to have it my way. haha. gotta love it.

drugs...ive been clean. im so very proud of myself. other than that, cutting....nothing besides burning chris's name into my ankle, which i kind of wish i didnt do because im scared my mother is going to find it. or something. my grandmother saw it, i told her it was old. she believed me, although it burns and stings with infection, and is bright red because it is new, she believed me. she actually believed me. how great is that.

anywho...im going to go. i have to finish packin .. w00t w00t.

later people....love u all...im goin to miss you OC fuckers..[ most of you anyways ] ...... i cant wait to see you arizonans....

i love chris from now until forever

-hales bales [ chris gave me that nickname ]

wouldnt it be good if they would understand us? wouldnt it be good if we could be together? ... take me away. take me far away from here. i will run with you. <3

i love chris. 12.13.03.-12.02.04. ... we will be together again. i love you.

C.H.M.R. = best night of my life. i miss you guys </3